Once he finally let me out I was shaking. Not because I was cold, because I was scared. My hair was in knots, along with my stomach. My shirt was ripped, along with my skin. My makeup was running, along with my blood. I turned around, his car was gone. I couldn’t hear anything. I walked into the shop. Scratch that, I ran. I hauled for the bathroom. Out of the corner of my eye I saw two boys. Jude and Jaeden. I didn’t stop, but they followed me in. Jude was in tears, and suddenly so was I.

                I watched their lips move but I just kept walking. I washed the blood that was dripping out of the bottom of my shorts. The floor was spotted. Still I couldn’t hear. They didn’t notice. All of a sudden Jude was slamming the door. He never was the patient type. Jaeden tried to take my hand but I couldn’t grab it. I was too afraid. Still shaking, I limped out after him. The coffee shop was full of officers now, and they wanted to know. I wanted to puke. I wanted to pass out. So I did.

Two years ago I was nothing like I am now. My hair was always a mess, I wore baggy clothes, I avoided human interaction and humans avoided me. Not to sound like a sob, but the 100 percent honest reason he left me was because I wasn’t beautiful enough. He didn’t only see me. He noticed exactly who I was. He doesn’t look the same either. He’s taller, he’s gotten a tan, he’s gotten broad shoulders, and he smokes. Tucked right behind his left ear was a camel.  And suddenly planted on his face was a great smile, showing his perfect teeth, lighting up his knee-weakening blue eyes. Aylin? Is that you? No way! Yeah, he knew. I wanted to run. I wanted to just get the coffees and go.  I couldn’t stand being near him. So why did I answer him? “Yeah, hi Owen. Long time no see.” He asked if I was busy. Why did I say no? He took my hand in his. Why didn’t I let go? Want to see my car? The backseat is huge. Why didn’t I run? He led me into the leathered backseat of his black mustang convertible. He pulled his shirt off and tossed it into the front seat. “I think I should go actually. I’m supposed to be getting coffee fo-“ He clamped his strong hand over my mouth, then he locked the doors. The tinted windows made the outside world oblivious to what was happening in that car.

They’re seven months old. I guess you could say seven months young. I like to think that way. I mean, I’m only in eleventh grade. They’re wonderful of course. Quade and Noah. A perfect little family? Not exactly. They think I don’t see their mindless stares. Looking at me as if it’s my fault. Like I asked for this to happen. Like I asked to get pregnant. As if I thought I could be a mom. I can tell you honestly I didn’t. I’m a kid. Still learning for myself. So why are they here? Why do I have two beautiful little boys, with sun-kissed skin and eyes that glow? Why do they look the least bit like me? Because the last thing I could ask for, happened.

                I was only trying to make a coffee run. We had been at  the movies. My boyfriend, Jude, his brother, Jaeden and I.  The coffee shop in our little old town didn’t have a drive-thru (we were lucky we had a highway,) so I ran in. they parked the silver accord in a parking lot a plaza over, but I insisted I walk alone. Jaeden smoked. Not exclusively, but in his car. I couldn’t stand the smell. I had never seen Jude smoke, but apparently he was fine with burning his lungs, I wasn’t. Taking a breath of fresh air was something I needed. Alone. Walking up the cement steps to the door I saw someone familiar leaving. Owen Bennett Greene. My ex of two+ years. And he saw me too.