Escape.

Sometimes I want to escape, I write. Then I never finish. This is one of those unfinished pieces.

“You’re ungrateful, all you do is care about yourself!” tears poured down my face as I ran up to my room. I started to clean until I came across the thing that could calm me down. I clutched Caspian’s sweatshirt tight against my face as I slid my back down against the door. When I hit the floor I ducked my head and sobbed until my eyes went numb. My phone started to buzz and instead of answering it I stared blankly into the navy blue of C’s sweatshirt like it would bring him here to comfort me.

                My jaw began to ache from crying, so I decided to call Caspian back. When I picked up my phone I had one missed call, but not from Caspian. In shock I blinked and looked closer at the screen, “one missed call from Jacob.” My face began to heat up as I listened to the voicemail he had left. “I know you feel really strong about your decision, but if you go you won’t be safe. You need to stay Lilah. I’ll be over in twenty. I love you.” There was something awfully odd about his voice, something unfamiliar. Then it hit me, he was crying. I lifted myself off my floor and trudged over to my bed. As I fell backwards onto the red and white bedspread someone knocked a tender knock on my door. Thinking it was my brother Cooper I yelled “get away Coop, I’m not in the mood!” Instead the door slowly opened and in walked a tall blonde boy with a long sleeve tee and jeans on. “Lilah, you can’t do this to yourself, it’s not healthy.” Without thinking I quickly came back with “what about this isn’t healthy?” he pointed to the empty tub of cookie dough ice cream on my floor next to Caspian’s sopping wet sweatshirt. 

                After lying on my bed for what seemed like years he put his hand out for me to grab. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.” I got up and grabbed the wet sweatshirt and began to put it around myself. As Jacob chuckled he removed his sweatshirt and put it on me. It was much warmer than Casp’s. He led me down the stairs and out the door. My eyes were red and puffy, my hair was messy and I was in plaid sweat pants and a bulky sweater.  We headed down towards my favorite playground, silently. As we sat on the swings I looked at the sky. I turned to face Jacob who was looking up at the sky as well. The shape of his face in the moonlight looked so sweet and soft. “How did you manage to get here?” he looked over at me. I could sense a smile come across his face as he spoke “you needed me.” I didn’t realize it until I spoke again, but I had began to cry again. I laid down on the ground and whispered “well I’m glad you came.”

                When we finally began walking again it was about eleven. He told me over and over he was there for me and then he asked me for my phone. As I handed him my phone I felt his warm hand. He started to make a call and walked away. When he came back he looked around. He led me through streets and around corners until we were down by the water. We climbed up to the top of the docks and I saw a boy. He was lying on the docks, hands folded beneath his head. He stood up and jumped, then he put his arms out in front of him and roared. Realizing who it was I ran to him and hugged him. Tears rolled down my face covering his shirt. My face was buried in his rugby shirt and I began to whisper “Caspian, I love you. You two are the only two men I can…” before I could finish my sentence Casp placed his finger over my lips. “Shh…I love you.”