Just so happens.

I'm not perfect. I try though. Not to be flawless, but to help people. There are some people that I feel like they, don't understand. One person specifically. He doesn't listen. I know he needs help though. I can feel it when I see him, he's going to need me. I sound like a freak, correct? Well it's true. I can tell he's hurting himself. I will save his life. I'm determined. Sometimes I want to give up. Sometimes I walk into the middle of the street and wait for a car. Sometimes I hold my breathe and watch the stopwatch on my phone tick. Sometimes I just run. Today, everything plummeted. All came together. I was crossing the street, not looking, and a driver nearly hit me. I'm not sure if they were drunk or not, but they were speeding for sure. Walking down my street I saw a car stuck in the snow, and it was stuck 10 minutes before when I started my walk. I walked into my house and told my step dad there was a woman that had her car stuck in the snow down the street. Didn't matter. Eventually I went upstairs and laid on my floor. I texted that boy I need to help. I asked him, questions, he actually answered. I will continue to try and help, and he, well..I'll hope he helps.

A day at a time.

    Would it scare you if I already now new what I wanted to name my kids? What if I already chose my job and where I want to live? What about the floorplan for the house? A school and church for my family? What if out of complete truth, I told you I had my life mapped out?
    Basically, it's all up here *taps on head* I know most everything I plan. I plan for the worst, hope for the best. Out of complete sanity, I have a blueprint--a simple one-- mapped out inside. I try not to tell people, in fear they'll shy away. I've always been...easily attatched. I'm not dauntless, in fact I'm extremley dauntfull. However, some things you can't avoid. I try as hard as I can, getting through the rough days, laughing through the best ones. I try to speed up time, but come on, it won't happen. Eventually though, I'll have that blueprint, in my head of course, and I'll open my eyes and smile as I watch it build itself in front of me. Really, all I can do is take it one day at a time.