i bet you don't know the way i feel. i know you don't in fact, because i barely do. you can't see the pain in my eyes, and i don't know why. i don't know how to tell anyone anything anymore. i don't know how to have a face to face conversation about my feelings. i don't know how to just tell you, or anybody. because i tried so hard to hide it that now my skins just too thick to be broken. i can't just undo all the things i've done. i can't unthink my thoughts, or unsay my words. and that's the meaning of "too late." and people say it's never "too late" but it is, they just don't know. and did you know i go for walks alone? and did you know i walk along the wall, just along the edge. shaking the border between life and death, stradling the line. and i'll walk past his house, just once. maybe twice. talking to myself. telling me i'm crazy. i explain just why. i'll always have reasons. but for someone to sit down and listen is just not possible, so whatever.